Return to yourself with self-love insights from some of our favourite people
Are you feeling inspired to make the year ahead a good one, despite all the challenges that form a part of our current reality? It can be very tough to keep your focus on the good and happy things in life when there is so much free-form negativity doing the rounds. This is why we reached out to a few of our favourite people & stores to find out how they practice self-love in the face of such gloomy vibes.
In our final chapter of our Self-Love series we are featuring our top 12 self-love/self-help books available at our book stores.
Grab your favourite and begin your very own self-love journey in finding your true self.
Atomic Habits | James Clear
The 5AM Club | Robin Sharma
Badass Habits | Jen Sincero
The Gifts of Imperfection | Brene Brown
What I Know for Sure | Oprah Winfrey
Think Like a Monk | Jay Shetty
The Choice for Love | Dr. Barbara De Angelis
The Rules of Love | Richard Templar
How to Love Yourself Cards | Louise Hay
You Can Heal Your Life | Louise Hay
The 5 Languages of Love | Gary Chapman
The Algebra of Happiness | Scott Galloway
By Karen Burt - Transformation Coach
Are you listening to your heart as you go about your daily life? Our metaphorical hearts lie at the core of so many of our sayings ('broken heart', 'big heart', 'soft heart', etc.), and is associated with so many emotions and states of being. Heart disease /diseases related to the heart is the number one cause of death around the world, yet we still take this powerful organ & seat of our soul for granted.
Our heart intelligence is always with us and operates with the infinite wisdom of the soul, based on what is best for us. Our mind, on the other hand, is full of limiting beliefs, learnings and memories. Society conditions us into conforming to traditional norms, and taking the safe, less risky path in careers, relationships and major life decisions. This often leads to a suppression of our soul purpose, which leaves us feeling lost, or like something is missing, and that there is something more to life.
This is when many people will turn to self-love, which is often confused with self-indulgence - quick fixes with which we seek to distract ourselves from sadness, anger, loneliness and frustration. The antitheses thereof is true selfcare - an internal investment in ourselves that supports our wellbeing and growth as a person.
Life is full of uncertainty, especially now, and our time on earth is a precious non-refundable, non-renewable resource. The wonderful news is that as long as we are alive it is never too late to start tuning into our heart and soul intelligence. Each of us already have all the wisdom we need inside of us; the real power is in asking ourselves the right questions and then trusting our heart and intuition enough to take action accordingly.
By Alette Winckler - Image consultant & stylist
Feeling good in your body starts by dressing for your shape. Each woman has unique physical features that need to be considered when choosing a wardrobe and accessories. This includes general shape, height, shoulders, face shape, neck length, etc.
To dress well for your body type you need to determine your shape, get to grips with the style objectives for that shape, and learn how to create a well-balanced silhouette by emphasising the right areas of your body and detracting the eye away from others. In my professional experience, there are four basic body shapes, namely the X, A, V and I. Here are a few key recommendations for each of these of these types:
The X Body Shape
X- body shapes typically have a wide bust, a small waist, and wide hips that have a similar measurement to that of the bust. They normally have a defined waist that curves to the hits, gently rounded shoulders that align with their hips, an upper body in proportion to their shapely legs and a rounded bottom. They are a picture of harmony and balance, and should seek to accentuate their curves by wearing fitted clothes.
Belted tops and dressed work well, as well as clothes with a scooped or V-neck, and tops that end at the waist. Feel free to play with skirt lengths and proportionally adding a bit of volume to your upper and lower body for an even more curvaceous effect. Avoid loose or over-sized clothing that can make you look bulky.
The A Body Shape
People with an A body shape have wide hips when compared to the upper body (bust and shoulders), and tend to gain weight on their lower body. They normally have a defined waist, slimmer arms and shoulders, and shorter legs with a long torso. For these women, their goal should be to balance their figure by highlighting the smallest part of your waist and drawing the eye upwards to their top half and drawing the eye to their slim waist.
Choose tops with extra embellishments and weighting in the shoulder area to add volume to the upper body, and dress the bottom half of the body in clean lines and plain colours. The focal point of any outfit should always be closer to your face, drawing the eye to the upper body for a more balanced look.
The V Body Shape
The V body shape is the most athletic looking. It is characterised by road shoulders, chest and back and a more slim-lined lower body. They have a larger upper body with broad shoulders, an ample bust and wide back, with slim hips and quite flat bottoms. Their shapely legs are their best asset, and they have a tendency to gain weight around the belly.
Your best course of action is to choose plain, dark colours up top, and draw the attention to your lower body with creative bottoms. Flared dresses and skirts work well, and flowing fabrics like chiffon can help to create the illusion of curves, while V-necklines can make the bust area looking slimmer.
The I Body Shape
The I body shape (rectangle body shape) is the most common of the four body shapes. Women with an I body shape have an overall athletic look, with their bust and hips in balance. Their waist is normally not very defined, and they tend to gain weight on their upper body and arms, while their legs tend to be shapely.
People with this straight frame should create some curves. Wrap dresses or tops with diagonal lines (both in colour and design) can create a waistline for the I body shape, and adding a wide belt to a garment also works well. Steer clear of flared or baggy pants, as this will create an unbalanced shape. Shoulder pads can be worn to give more shape to the I body shape.
by Junette Syster, Somerset Mall Brand Ambassador
My self-love journey only started in my late 20s, and today I am grateful to say that I am happy, and I love the body and skin that I'm in. The most challenging chapter in this journey was right after I had my baby boy Luca. I was supposed to be so happy, but when my body didn't 'snap back' I was very unhappy - nothing was the same anymore.
This is when I realised I had to relearn how to love and support myself. It's easy to be loving to yourself when things are going as planned; much harder when things fall apart. When we struggle the most, it also tends to be when we are hardest on ourselves. Also, when you are in a place where you don't love yourself, it's really hard to take that big leap to becoming someone who does. Just like building physical muscles, self-love takes consistent practice.
For me, what worked was first focussing on being someone who loves. I allowed love to flow through me as often as possible - to focus on what I love about the people I meet, and the things I appreciate in my day-to-day life. This allowed me to adjust my body to positive emotions. Here are a few other things to try:
- Stop comparing your journey to everyone else's. Comparison is a thief of joy and a killer of self-love. Instead of focussing on the things that others have that you don't, instead spend your time and energy on building up yourself and finding your own path.
- Start to create the life you long for in small increments. Take small and consistent steps in the direction that stirs joy, care, and excitement.
- Really start caring about yourself. When you really start looking out for yourself and your own wellbeing it will be easy to mirror that care in what you eat, how you exercise and how you spend your time.
- Surround yourself with people with whom you feel good. Jim Rohn’s famous quote goes, "You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with". Think about who those people currently are. Do they inspire, fill you up, and want what’s best for you?
Visit this blog again next week for our final feature: Our Top 10 self-love / self-help books from our book stores in Somerset Mall. But, in the meantime complete the entry form below to stand a chance in winning a Self-Love Hamper to the value of R18 000.
Prizes sponsored by Deluxe Laser & Spa. Trenery at Woolworths, Karen Burt, Alette Winckler, Wordsworth and Exclusive Books. Competition closes on 28 February 2021 at 11:59pm. Terms and Conditions apply.